44 cent hilarity

I was at Wal-Mart during my monthly hunt for flat things to mail to people in Africa and found a 44 cent card section. 44 cents?! That's nothing! How thrilling. It was mostly ugly kid birthday cards...but then...a diamond in the rough.



I mean really, this card had me at "Garbanzo" and I probably would have bought it no matter what it said on the inside. And the little Garbanzo dude? Totally makes up for the bad font.

HAHAHAHAHAHA Still laughing. Still chuckle every time I see it on my desk. Cracks me right up. Laughed really hard in the aisle. I might go back to buy the rest of these that they had in stock. I mean seriously, who does not need a bean card? So funny.

My grandma used to have a magnet in the shape of a bean with arms and legs and a face and on the belly it said, "I'm a human bean" and I just thought it was referring to the arms and legs and face. I mean yeah, it was clearly a bean that was human, it was a bean with human parts. Human bean. Why is that funny? I was a serious child.

My brother has reservations about this card because he thinks the 9 year-old I'm going to send it to won't get it because he didn't know about garbanzo beans until 2 years ago. I laughed at the time but that might be valid. I didn't know about garbanzo beans until college when Jeff Horst (hope you don't Google your own name) kept cans of them in his dorm room and even had a mini strainer and ate them out of the can while watching TV. However, garbanzos became a bigger part of my life in Africa because they're on couscous. I just hope her family doesn't call them chickpeas or then we're really in a pickle.

nast

I tried to buy yarn today but the store was closed at 8pm. Wha?! So confusing. Me and the husband I parked next to were so confused. However, I think I was more disappointed and he was relieved that he didn't have to actually go in and walk around with his wife. I didn't want to return home without buying anything however. I mean, come on, I'm an American. So I drove through to finally try a McDonald's latte.

MISTAKE

Among the worst beverage experiences of my life. Right up there with my last encounter with this guy:


It was bad. So, so bad. I think it was definitely my worst coffee experience, except for the equipment-related coffee disaster of '07 that involved a plunger. I'm glad that I'm no longer curious about the McLatte situation and at least confirmed my suspicion that it would be disgusting. My main regret is that the sale of said latte will be marked as profitable to McDonalds and perhaps in some way encourage them to continue the McCafe charade.

However, it must be said that the teenager working the drive-thru window was really pleasant. One thing I can say about this town is that the people are nice. I walk my dog almost daily and people are always waving. I think they're also saying "Hi" but I'm rudely ignoring them because I'm listening to This American Life on my iPod. Oops. I must still be adjusting from getting stared at. I used to freak out when I thought people were staring at me when I was little. My mom would do it on purpose because I would scream at her, "DO YOU HAVE A STARING PROBLEM?!" and she'd laugh and laugh. I never learned how to say that in Arabic but eventually I did start greeting people when I caught them staring, which helped. Maybe I'm staring at the strange suburban Americans and that's why they're greeting me...interesting theory. I was definitely staring at the guy who was shoveling snow off of his lawn though...not that I haven't ever done this in a fit of dirty snow rage...anyway.

Some college guys were sitting in lawn chairs in their front yard today (it was warm and sunny, they had a great idea) and were extra friendly and I was worried that they were pointing and laughing at me but then they said "nice shirt" which calmed me down. Turns out I was wearing my gang symbol shirt that has hands spelling out "blog" (thanks alex!). I thought I should mention that...on my blog.

netflix

Okay. Netflix is great. It's really pretty entertaining. From the 80 or so movies in my queue they have discovered that the following categories make up my taste in movies:

Visually-striking Mind-bending Dramas
Critically-acclaimed Independent Movies
Romantic Comedies Featuring a Strong Female Lead
HBO Sitcoms
Cerebral Movies

Hilarious. I sound so smart and interesting. What Netflix doesn't know won't hurt them.

What are your categories?

as far as the eye can see

i don't really miss...

creepy mannequins.

i heart spain

presentation: liveblogging

(men's) underwear flying off the line. This was one of my great fears about drying laundry on my roof. I was constantly worried that my underwear was going to end up in the street. I don't think it ever did. And no, this isn't my laundry line. My house was generally free of men's underwear, I promise.

ironic? no, coincidence

Alanis Morissette totally confused my concept of irony.

Netflix sent me Milk today



on the very day that this happened.

weird.

sorting

Hey there.

I had so much stuff to blog about but all of my pictures are on my phone and I can't get them to post here. Rude! So you can find them on Facebook. I've been traveling all around lately, midwest tour style. I went to Missouri with my new friend Amy. Turns out making friends isn't as scary as I thought it would be. I mean I only have one new friend and really I just stole her from Crissa (that's how I get new friends, I steal them, ask Jess) so I'm not sure if it counts. Amy and I grew up about 5 blocks from each other but she went to private school so I never knew her.

We went to Missouri a couple weeks ago to check out a training center. I was nervous about spending that much time with a new friend but it was so fun! Definitely a great road tripping experience. A few days later I went to see my former teammates and it was amazing to see them. It felt so good and familiar but also strange because we were in America. I had 4 kids in my lap and their dinner stuck to my clothes for the rest of the day. That's love.

Now you can find my in front of my computer in a cute but kind of uncomfortable chair sorting through THOUSANDS of pictures to find a handful that will best represent the last two years of my life. Yikes. It's kind of fun though, reliving the two years in mostly chronological order. I'm also blatantly stealing pictures from tourists who passed through and gave me their pictures from their fancy cameras. That's the best plan because they're brave and take pictures that I'm too scared to take. Like, rude ones. Like, right up in people's faces or their donkey's faces:


I'm so excited to share my experience with people but it still feels quite ridiculous that people want to sit down and listen to me talk. Ha. Suckers.