so. i woke up this morning and headed over to the hospital to hang out with my dad. i thought this would be a calm couple of hours but it turned out to be much more than that. included in today:
* wore ugly clothes on purpose so that my stepmom would complain about that instead of something i care about.
* made friends with a 2nd grader who told me her life story and is mad that i cut my hair off because she didn't get to play with it.
* got my first pedicure
* went to hobby lobby where my stepmom bought me a frame to hold a picture of Riley
* went to my dad's to let the dog out, see the new Wizard of Oz stuff in my old room, and check out my grandparents' wedding trunk that they had cleaned and fixed (pretty cool)
* back to the hospital, watched a movie, found out that coconut is bad for your heart, tried to explain missions to my parents...again.
The hospital my dad is at is the same hospital my brother died in. I haven't been there since then. I didn't even recognize most of it because so much of it is being remodelled. On the way back up to my dad's room my stepmom pointed out that around the corner from the elevator is the intensive care wing, where i spent two really hard weeks.
I snuck down there when we were leaving. It was really hard. My reaction was pretty emotional (which was probably not great for the families there) but it was good to acknowledge it. Every square inch of that place had a hard memory. It was so strange. The conference room where they explained that his brain was bleeding, the little machine that served the apple cider and chicken broth i lived on for 2 weeks, the little tiny window i had to peek through to see him before i had a mask on, the little desk where i colored with my nephew, the corner i turned when i saw my dad cry for the first time in my life. It was pretty intense.
On a (kind of) lighter note, it was great to spend the day with Dad and Keely. It was easy. I always get so stressed out about it and it's so silly. God is doing huge things in my heart right now with this family stuff. You're probably getting bored with it all and I'm sorry about that. Okay I'm stopping now because Kate gets to check her email tomorrow so I have to fill up her inbox. Woo! Thanks for listening.
Oh. If you don't know what I'm talking about with this brother stuff, here's the Times article about it.
Yes. And AMEN, and all that.
12 years ago
Ange, I love you! Thanks for sharing the easy parts of life and the hard. If I can walk through any of it with you, please let me. I'm praying for you! Love ya!
ReplyDeletewow, ange. Thanks for sharin. i didnt know all the details from your brother. that just makes is so much more real. i think that it is good that you took the time to get emotional in the hospital. i think for some greiving people it is easier to see other greiving people than others just enjoying their day. sometimes i felt guilty laughing in SICU because i knew the amount of pain some of those families were going through. in that situation there is usually something inside of me that says, "how can you laugh, don't you know that MY world is falling apart." so i think it is good. you either let it go or build it up. miss ya dude.
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