she has arrived

So. My grandma died on Monday. It seems like we've been waiting for so long. For about a year I've been preparing myself for this loss but it's just weird now that it happened. It's a huge answer to prayer that she went before I left so that I could be here. I know that sounds selfish and insensitive but it's true and this is my blog so there it is.

my entire family is either here and I can't help but be a little excited that we're all together at my house. It feels like the beginning of Home Alone. I've been trying to organize my thoughts about the whole situation and trying to remember things about my grandma and what she's taught me. I've learned so much about being a wife and mother even though I've really never seen her actively participate in either role. My grandpa died when I was five and I only have a few memories of him, but he's been a significant part of my life because my grandma was a wife that honored her husband, even after his death.

I wasn't expecting to get emotional at the funeral but the pastor read proverbs 31 and compared it to her life and I lost it. I wish Cate would have been there because she's perhaps the only one who could have understood what that meant to me (that wasn't meant to be a guilt trip, I just missed her). Okay that's all I'm going to write about that.

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

"Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

proverbs 31:25-29