waiting sucks!

i got an email from Warren Day today (i type as the other warren in my life sits on my lap completely blocking my view of the screen...rude) he proposed 2 teams for me to join. i thought i'd share them with you.

August - Unreached African People Group, Sheffield, UK. This team will be focused on the *******, please refrain from using the name of the people group in any literature. The team will be in Sheffield. Costs for housing will be quite high, and we are anticipating higher outgoing costs for this team in order to cover rent costs for the two years. We are looking for eight (8) missionaries for this team - couples or singles, male or female. NPRI's are out. Some specific skills on this team will be helpful. Currently, only one OFA has been signed - Amanda Wyatt of the US. The Australia SU says that there is a good likelihood that a Chinese couple and a Chinese single woman will join this team. Chance of team happening - 98%.

October - Community Centre Team, Indian Ocean. This team will be working in the capital city of Moroni on Grand Comore with a common ministry based on a community centre. Whatever varied life skills or professional skills that would be valued by Comorians would be helpful for team members to have. NPRI's are out. We will be looking for ten (10) team members, couples or single males or single females. Chance of happening: 98%

Okay so neither of these places are what I was really looking for but until further notice (ie- a closed door) I'm going to just assume that for right now this training program thing is the best next step for me. So then between these two teams from the terms of the people i would be among and serving, the people in Sheffield are definitely who I have a heart for. They had to start leaving their nomadic lifestyle because the world is becoming to westernized for them to survive, so they moved right into westernization and don't really know where to turn. But I have fairly severe issues with going to England. It would be so easy to go to England. I'm not okay with going to a comfort zone which would cost a lot more and where there would be bigger chances for me to just, you know, be comfortable. But here are my questions/justifications for this being okay.

Will being somewhere more comfortable more effectively prepare me for a LIFETIME of figuring out how to leave my comfort zone beyond just my location?

Will being placed in a more western and "connected" area make more training resources available for this stage of my life? If this is really only a next step, an in between, is it okay to really want to be able to email my family more often and keep them on the same page because they really don't get it.

Will meeting these people where they are, sharing the fears and experiences of a new culture, open up opportunities to serve them? An "in" if you will?

I'd really like to say "it's just a training program it's okay if it's not where you wanted to go" but that's exactly what I didn't want to happen.

Islam isn't just in Africa, the Muslims have figured out how to effectively reach and influence every society, but as these people come into places more like my own, it makes me want to figure out how to authentically reach them here. But then do I have to raise support and live off God's dollar and go to England when we have that kind of ministry opportunity here every day?

I don't want to raise support to go to England. I want my dot on the map to be somewhere scary. I want to challenge my church to send missionaries to the dark places. I want to send pictures of me being dirty and sweaty and holding naked babies. This is pride. Is that why?

Everyone would be okay with me going to England. I want to stretch my family, myself. I want it to be hard for me to leave. I want to get there and panic because I can't talk to anyone but then learn how to talk to people. I don't want to be able to walk a block to Sainsbury's and buy fancy cereal.

While I do kind of really love getting emails with things I have to bleep out and official-sounding acronyms, all I want right now is answers.
There are 3 2006 teams that are right on the money. Sudan, North Africa, Chad, these are the places I was praying for. What does that mean?! I DON'T WANT TO WAIT ANYMORE! I just want to go. AGH! What do I do?!

help me
help me
help me
help me
i'm freaking out